That time since we were together le, she was giving me a cold shoulder that she had never done before..I know it is hard to accept that the one you love, loves other.. Me too, can't accept it.. I have been trying to make them together while going out in a group of fours.. But she rejected my offer.. Everyone knew that she likes him but she was not admitting.. I know it was not wrong for not admitting.. But this action told me that i got a chance for expressing my feelings for him.. That's why i took up my courage and tell him how i feel..I wanted to tell him my feelings long ago while we were chatting on the phone.. I tried to give hints.. And lastly i mustered my courage and told him how i felt over the phone after we went to jurong east.. Never did i expected he would accept me into his life a few days later.. After accepting me, there's lots of things we need to encounter together.. Example how other people looks at me, how my friends around me react and give comments, how some friends hate me and all, unwilling to talk to me and all..I knew people around me was suffering, this was what i cannot denied.. If we were willing to face our problem together than nothing will be a problem..
Days by days, my friendship with her was fading, she had not been talking to me in class and going to recess together.. Things had been changed..She had been giving me cold shoulders.. I was very confused.. I asked ideas from my friends what should i do in order to keep this friendship stable as i really value this friendship alot since i met her.. I gave her what i think was the best.. I listened to her when she was having problems.. I helped her all along when she need helped.. I wanted her to change for the better as some of my friends dislikes her attitude.. I wanted to change her.. Everyone around me know that i value this friendship with her alot alot.. And i really do ! I really can't afford to lose a good friend like her.. She was the first person who appeared within me while i was having problems.. She was the one whom i can turned to when i am disappointed..She guilds me through all along in my life which i cannot denied.. Helping me to apply oil , bringing me to see a doctor, helping me to tie and wash my hair and all.. She did the things for me willing.. I am really very very touched and grateful towards her.. Maybe words can't describe my feelings..
Because of a relaionship, she avoided me.. She changed her password for her blog and all which i couldn't get in.. I really want to know how she felt and i am willing to heal the hurt she had.. But she just can't accept me into her life..I knew she was sad but she was unwilling to share it with me..Only things that i read in her blog let me understand her better.. As a friend of hers, i tried to understand her more.. As she know, what happened , i will be always there for her..It is hard for the both of us to fall for a guy.. Initially, i am willing to gave up this relationship because of a cemented friendship ..Once again she turned me down..There was nothing i could do then..
Days by days, our friendship gets further and further..Until the day the school starts.. School starts as usual, i did not have the courage to talk to her..During pe after running around the basketball court, i squat down immediately after i came back.. She turned to me and told me that squatting down will make me even worst.. so i stood up.. I was touched at that moment ! Really touched.. She made the first move to talk to me which i can't ..After that i asked her to join us for a game during pe and everything was back to normal like before.. *Clap clap*
For now, the guy and me had broke off le..Maybe there is really many problems created when we were together.. The feelings and trust he had for me had faded away.. Nothing i could do much to this relationship..I just wanted him to know i value this relationship like how i value my friendship..I treasure all single moments i had with him..The most memorable memories i had with him was at esplanade.. He hugged me tight and kiss me at my face.. He gave me the feeling i never had before..And made me fall in love with him deeply.. This was what i really can't denied.. He tolerated my bad attitude and all the silly i had created.. I am willing to change.. I am willing to do anything for him, just like never done before..I really love him.. I miss the days he sang while chatting on the phone..I miss his presence, laughter and all..
Don't ever let me fall in love with you deeply and let me go..Is hurtful ! Let time heal myself ba.. Let nature take course.. Hoping too big will make me fall even greater.. Don't give me up and i won't give myself up.. I will be stronger like i used to be before.. no worries ehs..
